New Taylor Has Trademarked the Phrase: “Old Taylor Can’t Come to the Phone Right Now”

Why? Because she’s dead business-savvy!

If you were about to release an unauthorised line of “The Old Taylor Can’t Come to the Phone Right Now” iPhone cases, you better hold fire, or face a lawsuit.

According to TMZ, Taylor Swift has filed to trademark a bunch of song titles and lyrics off her upcoming Reputation album.

It’s a fairly common practice for artists, including Swift, who has previously trademarked the name of her rapidly-radicalising fanbase, “Swifties”, along with the phrase “this sick beat”.

These trademarks will allow her to exclusively use the titles and lyrics on new merchandise like shirts, guitar picks and, presumably, chokers.

Among her latest batch of proposed trademarks is “Look What You Made Me Do” and the lyric that spawned a thousand memes (few in Swift’s favour), “The old Taylor can’t come to the phone right now.”

"sorry, the old taylor can't come to the phone right now.... why?

because she's dead!" pic.twitter.com/KjxDR27DFA

— brat™ (@brooklynnemarie) August 26, 2017

i'm sorry, but the old robin sparkles can't come to the phone right now... why? oh, cause she's dead pic.twitter.com/hQWsgBW1uy

— becca 🐍 (@houisfree) August 30, 2017

i'm sorry the old ross can't come to the phone right now. why? oh cause he's dead. pic.twitter.com/4J6udsy3O0

— ‏ً (@94srachel) August 30, 2017

It’s not known if the devastating conclusion to that cliffhanger—“Why? Because she’s dead!”—has also been trademarked.

That’s gonna look good on a hat.

Photo: YouTube.com/TaylorSwiftVEVO