Someone Dismembered A Turtle At Schoolies

There’s only one question a headline like that inspires...

...and it’s the same one you’ll still be asking at article’s end:

Unfortunately, there’s no reasonable explanation, so let’s just try and get through this without too much existential panic.

According to The Advertiser, on the last night of Schoolies Festival at South Australia’s Victor Harbor, a nearby 18-year-old was reported for cruelty to animals after he allegedly dismembered a turtle.

The incident took place in the suburb of Goolwa.

He is likely to appear in court sometime in the future.

That is all the information we have. No motive. No apology. No seeming sense to this random, turtle-dismembering chaos.

Nonetheless, SA Police have said they were happy with the (mostly) good behaviour of the schoolies, with only 240 people either arrested, reported or served notice, compared to 2014’s number: 243.

Yet, the question of why someone would mess with a turtle remains.