Please, Please Stop Throwing Kiwi Fruit at Harry Styles, His Life Is at Risk

Harry Styles’ most devoted fans (or Zayn’s sleeper agents) have grown consumed with trying to injure the former One Directioner with Kiwi Fruit.

Why? This is a hugely sensible question with a totally unsatisfactory answer.

See, your boy Harry made the in-retrospect unwise decision to title a song on his debut album “Kiwi”. (In our review, we got stuck on the fact he refers to a woman with a “pretty neck” in it, rather than its title.) The tune has become a fan-favourite; so much so, concert-goers are literally bringing the furry fruits to his gigs and pegging them at him while he attempts to perform the innocuously-titled track.

This means Harry has to pull off some Jim-Carrey-in-The-Mask-style maneuvers to evade the Kiwis.

But at his recent gig at the Hammersmith Apollo in London, he barely managed to stay upright after slipping on a rogue Kiwi. Though, it probably helped that he was at least dressed like The Mask.

only harry would slip on a literal kiwi during kiwi 🥝🥝🥝#HarryStylesLiveOnTour

(I can’t believe i took this video) pic.twitter.com/RCQUtCZ0hf

— lucy ♕ (@hearteyeslarryy) October 30, 2017

GIF || Harry slipping on stage tonight in London ! pic.twitter.com/9C0H9jXW8n

— 1D Updates! (@OfficialWith1D) October 29, 2017

“You may have seen me fall earlier during this song,” he later said.

“It appeared to be a kiwi.

“That was the culprit, some green seedy mush. Look there's another—this could end up being a problem.”

He also had to wipe his own stage clear, as a precaution.

Back in the day, audiences used to hurl rotten fruits and vegetables at performers they didn’t like (hence the website Rotten Tomatoes). But now we’re throwing ripe (aka still hard) fruit at performers we do like?

Anyway, Harry’s taking it well enough, for now.

London, you were wonderful tonight. The love for each other in there was special.
Thank you for sharing it.

See you tomorrow. H

— Harry Styles. (@Harry_Styles) October 29, 2017

Pray for Harry.

Photo: Twitter.com/hearteyeslarryy & Twitter.com/Brelynn7493