How to Send a Breakup Message (and How Not To Do It Too)

Is there a way to "breakup" without being cruel? We asked our members. Here’s one great response.

We’ve all been there, or in your possible case, you’re about to be there.

The moments leading up to a breakup can be horrible, but the breakup itself is a lot like falling into a pit and landing in hell, for both people. So, it’s very important that your bad news is worded correctly.

If you truly can’t bring yourself to do the deed in person (which is always recommended above all), and you’re not escaping a particularly toxic relationship, here are some tips to letting the other person down humanely via text message.

#1: Always apologise.

Even if you’re not actually sorry about the breakup, the person on the other side of the relationship is about to be in a lot of pain, so make sure to apologise for dropping the breakup bomb on them.

#2: Don’t use emojis.

Even if you use them in literally every conversation, emojis can be seen as insensitive in this context, and when your ex-partner looks for things to be mad at you for post-breakup, you can bet they’re gonna fixate on that broken-heart emoji.

#3: Accept that they’re going to be very upset.

Breaking-up is hard for both parties, but the worst thing to do is drop the message and then ghost them. You need to be able to reply to all the messages they send afterwards (within reason) because if you were in their shoes you’d want answers too.

#4: Tell then why and when it happened.

Even if the story puts you in a bad light, the other person deserves to know why you’re breaking up with them and when you came to the decision. It could give them the closure they’ll be searching for.

#5: The aftermath.

Their Instagram will probably blow up with great pics of them afterwards and you can bet they’ll be analysing your photos as much as you will be analysing theirs, so the best thing to do (after you’ve had a healthy talk about the breakup) is block them from your social media and consider going private. And whatever you do, never ever spread rumours about them because it will always come back to bite you.

Remember, they’ll probably be very upset for a while but don’t feel too bad because relationships are a two-way street and you can’t help it if you turned a corner that they didn’t.

Congratulations to Sheridan for winning this week's writing challenge: How (and How Not) to Send a Break-Up Message. Sheridan wins a $50 Westfield gift card for her submission. For your chance to win, check out our latest writing challenges in our Competitions section. Also, be sure to follow this guide on how to win the writing challenge.

Photo: iStock.com/RyanKing999