How To Make New Friends

Some people are winners: confident; magnetic; it's like they're playing life on easy.

The rest of us… well, we spend our time reading articles about how to make new friends, or what to do when we accidentally make eye contact with someone on the bus.

Deep down, science says, we all crave meaningful human interaction, and all too often, we find ourselves in search of something more. Something to freshen up our old, stagnant circles. A fairy-tale meeting, perhaps? A chance encounter with our platonic soul mate.

Thoughts like these are one reason we're here writing articles about friendship instead of actually being out with friends.

If you want to connect with people, you can't sit around waiting. My first tip? Be proactive. Be aggressively proactive. If you're new somewhere, you already have an excuse. Interrupt conversations and introduce yourself like you're somebody they should know.

If you don't have somewhere to be new at, find a place. Find an online place, if that's where you're more comfortable. The world is bigger and yet more accessible than ever; put yourself out there and you'll be surprised by who comes by to pick you up.

Of course, it's easier said than done. So, it may come to this: If you want new friends, put yourself in positions where you and the people around you have little choice but to develop a firm rapport.

Sign up for classes that involve teamwork; join a committee; play a sport. Take pictures and promise to send them to your new friend later—voilà, you now have their contact details and an excuse to start a conversation.

Once you have that excuse, you're almost set. The key now is to spin conversation until the two of you are bound tight by the unbreakable thread of best-friendship. It is useful to keep a stash of interests you can draw from to enthuse about if the conversation grows stale, as well as a question bank to proffer so your partner gets a go too. Nothing cements a friendship better than feeling like the other person loves the same things you do.

This is all rather clinical, isn't it? But if you were the sort of person who could easily navigate the ever-changing seas of interpersonal communication, you wouldn't be here. So, don't be ashamed to have a formula to fall back on. The measure of a friendship's success is how it survives the years, not the circumstances under which it was formed.

I will reiterate this: deep down, we all crave meaningful human interaction. There's always room for one more friend, and there will always be people to befriend. Give others reason to care about you—be a classmate; be a fellow hobbyist; be the person who listens when they're in need of an audience—and see if they reciprocate. Often, they will.

We can't all find life easy. But having someone to share our struggles with? Well, that's a victory to cherish.

Congratulations to Karyn for winning this writing challenge, answering: How To Make New Friends. Karyn wins a $50 Westfield gift card for her submission. For your chance to win, check out our latest writing challenges in our Comps section. Also, be sure to follow this guide on how to win the writing challenge!

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