Grammar Police: How A Woman’s Murder Attempt Was Foiled Because She Couldn’t Spell ‘Dignity’

'Dignaty' is not correct.

A South London woman has been sent to jail for fifteen years after poisoning her husband; a crime she might have gotten away with if it wasn’t for a pesky typo in his forged suicide note.

On Christmas Day, 2013, Jacqueline Patrick served her husband Douglas a glass of cherry Lambrini, topped up with antifreeze.

After drinking two-and-a-half glasses of the cocktail, Douglas complained of feeling sick and was later placed into an induced coma at the hospital.

When the ambulance initially picked him up, Jacqueline handed them the below note suggesting that Douglas did not wish to be resuscitated.

If only she had spelt ‘dignity’ correctly.

According to the BBC, police asked Jacqueline to replicate the note, where she once again wrote ‘dignity’ as ‘dignaty’. (She also neglected to add commas before and after ‘Douglas Patrick’ or a full stop after ‘side’ and ‘thank you’, if we can nitpick this thing a little further.)

Earlier this year, an American woman used grammar to her legal advantage, getting out of a parking ticket on account of a missing comma.

However, it wasn't just poor spelling that undid Jacqueline's grand plan.

Police investigations also revealed that Jacqueline had scoured the internet for information on “antifreeze poisoning” as well as sent messages to her 21-year-old daughter, Katherine, updating her on the attempted murder’s progress. (Katherine was sentenced to three years for her involvement.)

Douglas exited the coma several days after being poisoned and spent the past year learning to walk and talk again. He had previously survived an earlier attempt on his life by Jacqueline.

So... Merry Christmas!