Give Lauren Lapkus the Best Actress Oscar for "The Wrong Missy", You Cowards

Ordinary movie. Extraordinary star.

Last week, in what was somehow just the seventh most cowardly/embarrassing thing the Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences has done lately (after this and this and this and this and this and most of all this), it was suggested that the Oscars might be delayed as a result of coronavirus.

Now, it’s not the delaying of the televised spectacle that’s shameful; it might actually be the most responsible thing unless America (and indeed the world) can get a handle on COVID-19. Rather, it’s the suggestion that Oscars won’t be handed out to this year’s (mostly direct to digital) films simply because cinemas are closed and many big or prestigious pictures have been pushed to 2021.

Sure, that may mean there’s a smaller pool to choose from in 2020, but why should features like The Invisible Man and festival hit The Assistant be punished as a result? And more importantly, why should the Academy’s spineless flotation of a 'delayed Oscars' disrupt an opportunity to coronate the worthiest victor in years? Because with all the more po-faced dramas potentially out of the running, the Academy can now give the Best Leading Actress trophy to its rightful recipient: Lauren Lapkus, star of Netflix’s The Wrong Missy, directed by Tyler Spindel.

If you haven’t yet had the pleasure, The Wrong Missy is one of Netflix’s annual Happy Madison productions, though not one starring Adam Sandler. Instead, it’s a David Spade vehicle—admittedly, carjacked by Lapkus—in which he plays Tim, a haplessly bland and bewigged investment banker. The flick opens with Tim going on a blind date with Lapkus’ Missy, who, within minutes, is screaming across the restaurant, brandishing a machete and sneaking into his toilet cubicle. She is a whirling dervish, an agent of chaos, and he’ll eventually, accidentally invite her (and her demonic alter ego "Hellstar") to his company retreat in Hawaii (after thinking he was texting another 'Missy') where she goes even wilder. In many ways, The Wrong Missy is basically about what it might be like to date a less-hinged Harley Quinn.

Now, we’re not suggesting it was a banner day at the Genius Factory when they came up with the premise (or execution) for The Wrong Missy. It’s a barely acceptable comedy that quickly runs out of ideas and absolutely sputters to the end credits after a mere 90 minutes. And most of Missy’s actions, all unintentionally mortifying to Tim, make zero sense. Since watching the thing, I have spent several sleepless nights trying to untangle the internal logic of her attempts to chum the water with fish guts while Tim and his boss go swimming with sharks. (Spoiler alert: She’s stopped by a fingerless diver played by Rob Schneider, only to barf into the ocean when the chum gets tipped on her head. This sequence is as unknowable as Terrence Malick’s The Tree of Life.)

Credit where it’s due to writers Chris Pappas and Kevin Barnett: When Tim starts falling for his nightmare date precisely because of her unpredictability (without asking her to change one iota), The Wrong Missy ends up being a course-correction of its misogynistic cousin The Heartbreak Kid. Spade also understands exactly who the star is here, settling into the part of straight man so Lapkus can run rampant. Her unhinged performance will come as no surprise to anyone who has heard one of the improv comic’s podcast appearances over the years. The Wrong Missy goes further by taking advantage of the visual medium and showcasing her loopy physicality and enormous, expressive eyes. Every one of her fearlessly disgusting utterances elicits a choked-laugh, willed into hilarity by a performer who is relishing this opportunity and will not be downed by an underwritten character (and can in fact use its twisted 'manic pixie dream girl' archetype to her manic advantage).

In years past, the Academy might have been reticent to award a screen presence who screeches "all my teachers can eat my a**hole," but in this new world we live in, they have no choice. I mean, this is the same group of people who watched Bombshell and felt that was worthy of multiple acting nominations, which is objectively insane anyway. So why deny Lapkus? As was once said on Game of Thrones, "chaos is a ladder," and it’s one she should climb all the way to the winners podium.