Coach, the "Black Mirror" Dating App, Is Real and Ready to Ruin Your Relationships

How long will your relationship last? Coach knows.

So, you just finished binge-watching Black Mirror’s fourth season on Netflix, and you thought to yourself: “How can I integrate its nightmarish, hubristic technological advances into my everyday life right now?”

The internet has heard your bizarre, terrible request, uploading Black Mirror's notorious dating app, Coach, from the S4 episode "Hang the DJ".

One of the most acclaimed episodes of the season (though, we were quite partial to the under-loved “Metalhead”), “Hang the DJ” centers on two adorable, unlucky-in-love Brits, Amy (Georgina Campbell) and Frank (Joe Cole), who are paired up thanks to a unique dating app named Coach, which collects data based on a series of relationships to ultimately pair you with your perfect match.

But here’s what really separates Coach from the pack: It tells you, at the start of your first date, how long your relationship is going to last. (Mild spoiler alert: Questioning Coach’s decisions can rapidly decrease your time spent together.)

Sound like fun? Of course not. But if you’re a Black Mirror fan, you’re already a glutton for punishment, so why not have a play with Coach in real-life!

It’s easy: Go to coach.dating and follow the prompts. When you tap the big button, you’ll be given a link to share with your partner. When you’ve both logged in, you’ll be shown this terrifying image:

Then, you’ll have just five seconds to synchronise your clicks and reveal the life expectancy of your relationship.

And if you get a disappointing number, maybe you can follow Amy and Frank’s footsteps and (major spoiler alert) defy society itself and just hope you’re living in a giant simulation. Good luck!

Photo: Netflix