Who Really Drew the D**** in "American Vandal"? We Have Some Alternate Theories and Suspects

Spoilers (and d****) ahead.

It’s been a great week for anyone with a Netflix subscription and a passion for graffitied genitalia.

Besides accidentally sharing an episode of Maya the Bee with a cheekily scrawled D&B, Netflix debuted the first season of its not-so-true crime mockumentary American Vandal.

The show—a brilliant spoof of Making a Murderer, The Keepers and the podcast Serial—follows two student filmmakers, Peter Maldonado and Sam Ecklund, as they attempt to prove the innocence of teenage troublemaker Dylan Maxwell. His alleged crime? Spray-painting d**** on 27 cars in the faculty parking lot of their Hanover High School. His sentence: Expulsion. His alibi: Shaky. But Maldonado and Ecklund demand justice, unearthing the school’s many secrets to get to the absolute truth, piecing together clues with Snapchat videos and Instagram Boomerangs from their classmates.

If you’ve not watched all eight episodes—the show’s best joke might be that it goes on for hours—get on that, immediately. Not only is it a pointed satire of the irresponsibility behind certain true-crime shows, it’s also a fantastic and highly specific glimpse at modern high school life.

And though the show comes to a kind-of conclusion about who really drew the d****, we have our lingering suspicions and alternate theories. Needless to say, don’t read on if you don’t want American Vandal spoiled.

At the end of the season, Peter Maldonado and Sam provide incontrovertible proof that Dylan couldn't have drawn the d****. (Or did they? See below for more.) They also propose a convincing counter argument: that student body president Christa Carlyle and her camp counsellor boyfriend Van Delorey framed Dylan for the deed, as a disguised act of protest against Coach Rafferty. Still, Peter and Sam don't outright accuse her of the crime, saying that circumstantial evidence alone almost ruined Dylan's life, and they don't want to do the same to Christa without some hard proof.

It's a fair point.

Thankfully, we don't have the same ethical obligation, specifically because these aren't real people and there aren't actual consequences to our finger-pointing. So, allow us to point our fingers wildly at some new suspects who may have really drawn the d****.

Ming

Everyone's favourite Hanover student has no apparent motive, but also no alibi. Plus, as one of the Morning Show Nine, he could have easily deleted the footage of his crime. And, as we see in the episode "Premature Theories", he is both open to suggestion and carries a self-destructive streak, willingly shot-gunning nine beers at Nan's party before attempting to funnel a six pack after graduation. But why would the school's most universally beloved student (with no apparent teacher beefs) tag 27 teachers' cars, causing $100,000 worth of damage? Some men just want to watch the world burn.

The Way Back Boys

For this theory to hold any water, you have to assume the Way Back Boys are playing three-dimensional chess, faking their "Kiefer Sutherland prank call" timeline (not to mention the "dead" GoPro that would have otherwise recorded them). It would also mean they willingly threw their buddy Dylan under the bus. However, they actually do have a motive, if not a clean alibi: an open hatred of Mac, Dylan's girlfriend. Did Gange try to set Mac up for the crime, knowing she was already feuding with Coach Rafferty, to get her expelled? And did they panic when Dylan was pinned for the crime instead, refusing to come forward? Not cool, guys.

The Morning Show Nine (Excluding Dylan, Peter and Sam)

Maybe this is a Murder on the Orient Express or Hidden scenario, with (spoilers for MOTOE and Hidden) multiple culprits working in unison and pretending to not have anything in common besides a shared hatred of one man: in this case, Dylan, their oft-distracted cameraman. Individually, the crew of the student TV channel have semi-convincing alibis (some are out of state, some have mono). Together, they could have easily orchestrated the frame-up, executed it in 18 minutes, deleted the footage and then laid low, all to get Dylan kicked out of their studio.

Mr. Kraz

The skeeziest teacher (well, ex-teacher) at Hanover is quick to point out his disdain for his colleagues (saying, for example, Coach Rafferty "sucks" and has "roofied" people). We even see him storm out of the school’s Teacher of the Year ceremony when Rafferty gets the prize. Did Kraz rebel against the entire teaching staff and then go delete the footage? Access. Motive. Alibi? Someone check his Twitter.

Ms. Shapiro

Peter proves Ms. Shapiro is willing to lie on occasion, if she believes the ends justifies the means. Did she frame Dylan, knowing she'd have to get a nail in her car tyre fixed anyway, in a classic case of "insurance fraud via penis graffiti"? It's a stretch, but we’re not ruling her out yet.

Dylan's Brother

We never see Dylan's older brother but we know a) he was a troublemaker in high school too, b) he hated Ms Shapiro, and c) he never left Oceanside. A final bit of archive footage at the end even hints at a motive, with a young Peter apparently pranking what looks like his brother, who is lying flat on his stomach while Peter laughs over him. Is this payback, years in the making?

Dylan

What if Dylan conspired with the Way Back Boys (or, stay with us, Peter and Sam) for this epic prank? As he says in the final episode, "They don't f***ing know me, man… I'm not dumb. I'm not f***ing dumb." This changes everything...

Pat

Then again, who knows what surprise hookup master Pat is truly capable of?

Share your theories (or poke holes in our suggestions) below!

Photo: Netflix