Signs You’re in a Parasocial Relationship

Single ❌ Taken ❌ In a Parasocial Relationship ✅

The term ‘parasocial’ sounds a little spooky. And like ghosts, in these kinds of relationships you’re dealing with someone non-physical who may not even exist at all. 

Unlike scary stories, the experience is a real psychological phenomenon, and you are very likely to be living in it now. 

On a daily basis you’re engaging with vloggers, TikTokers, Netflix shows, fictional characters, celebrity Instagram stories and comments online by strangers.  

You’re interacting with people from the other side of a screen, where you can see them, but they can’t always see you.

Hairs on end? Here’s how to know if you’re in a parasocial relationship… And why that shouldn’t actually freak you out. 

You feel a sense of closeness to a media person or character. 

Ever finished watching a David Dobrik vlog and found yourself thinking about the vlog squad and their personal lives as though they’re your own friends? 

Psychologist Cynthia Vinney wrote for ThoughtCo that humans are built to make social connections and seek bonds with people, “despite media consumers’ knowledge that the interaction is an illusion.” 

So even though you know that Charli D’Amelio doesn’t know you exist, you still wanna be her best friend. 

You get upset if that person or character does something out of line. 

Some unfavourable tweets from 2011 have resurfaced. Your fave influencer goes to Instagram live to desperately apologise to their audience. You feel betrayed. 

Your perception of them has been shattered. It’s not the behaviour you’re used to. 

On the flipside, you may become defensive as cancel culture snatches them up and protest all the reasons why they should be given a second chance. 

You feel real grief when that person or character passes away. 

Dr David Giles noted the outpouring of grief in the public reaction to the death of Princess Diana in 1997. 

“Those interacting with [Diana] didn’t know [her], but obviously felt that they did,” he says, “it takes something like the death of a media figure for the strength of that attachment to be recognised.” 

Explains why you sobbed so hard when Iron Man died. 

You found escape and comfort through influencers and fictional characters during lockdowns. 

A series of studies were published in the Journal of Social and Personal Relationships. They found that during isolation, people became much more attentive to their favoured celebrities. 

You may have maintained friendships in real life but developed deeper connections to the celebrities you followed on social media and streaming platforms. 

But this isn’t something to feel ashamed about. 

According to Cynthia Vinney, parasocial relationships are perfectly normal, and psychologically healthy. Human brains simply never evolved to tell the difference between people we see in the media, and those we see in real life. 

You may feel engaged and inspired in your parasocial relationship. 

Just remember that it can’t replace real interaction and connection with real human beings around you. 

Stay real! 

Header Image: vintagio via Envato Elements