Movie Review: Your Faves Make "Ocean’s 8" Fun, But They Can't Steal Our Attention for Long

The Ocean’s heist franchise has a fool-proof formula, and it’s not spoiled in the all-female Ocean’s 8.

First, you get a bunch of attractive and exceptionally charismatic stars in a room together. Back in the 1960s, for the original hangout flick, it was the Rat Pack; last decade, it was George Clooney and pals.

Here, in director Gary Ross’ spin-off, it’s Sandra Bullock (as Debbie, the sister of Clooney’s Danny Ocean), Cate Blanchett, Sarah Paulson, Anne Hathaway, Helena Bonham Carter, Mindy Kaling, Rihanna and Awkwafina. They are all reliably funny, individually, and mostly funny together. So, check.

Second: ? (No, it’s not ripping-off South Park’s 'Underpants Gnome' strategy; it’s key that any Ocean’s film involve a theft that's oblique and undefined for the audience and remains incomprehensible and honestly impossible even once the mechanics have been unveiled at the climax.)

Third: Profit. Our heroes pull off the job and make away with millions in dollars—or, in the case of Ocean’s 8, hundreds of millions in jewels. And audiences flock to the cinema, forking over their hard-earned money to enjoy watching famous people look effortless and get richer. It’s the rare win-win grift.

That said, even though Steven Soderbergh's stylish remake of Ocean's Eleven bettered the tedious and truly effortless Rat Pack version (if any effort was actually spent on that set, it was at the wet bar), Ocean’s 8 is ultimately lacking that visual verve. Cool emanated from Soderbergh’s very camera, and when he deployed a kitsch transition or winking title credit (such as "Introducing Julia Roberts"), it felt like an in-joke to which we were party. Ross, on the other hand, plugs in a few PowerPoint Spin effects and calls it a day. Ocean’s 8's cool quotient almost entirely comes from the cast and Blanchett’s chic wardrobe. (Side note: Can we at least get a unisex clothing line out of this?)

Ocean’s 8 begins promisingly, with Debbie released from a stint in prison, immediately using her canny Ocean wiles to steal bags of designer outfits and scam her way into a deluxe hotel room without breaking a sweat. In the clink, she devised an elaborate plot to nick a royal necklace worth $130 million from the Met Gala. Debbie tells her trusty partner-in-crime Lou (Blanchett, Aussie accent and all) she’ll need another six to assist: a fashion designer (Helena Bonham Carter, taking some jabs about her personal style in stride), a jeweller (Mindy Kaling), a pickpocket (Awkwafina), a hacker (Rihanna) and an unwitting actress (Anne Hathaway, always game), who’ll wear the necklace, and have it stolen from her very neck.

Sarah Paulson is also there, playing a kleptomaniac with many varied, undefined skills. As she is in life, her character Tammy is an essential utility player that is nonetheless not given enough to do.

The build-up to the 'First Monday of May', when the Met Gala goes down, actually falls a little flat, which is unfortunate given how 'putting the crew together' movies usually relish that part of proceedings. Screenwriters Olivia Milch and Ross maybe rely too much on their stars’ on-screen ease; you can just imagine giant swaths of the screenplay stating: [BLANCHETT AND BULLOCK CHAT, APPEALINGLY].

The heist itself is glamorous fun, though not quite as ingenious as you would hope. Carrying on the tradition of its predecessors, Debbie actually leaves more to dumb chance than you would anticipate. The best part, of course, is the reveal of the magic trick, when we discover that what we witnessed was really only a small part of her plan. Turns out the most audacious move in Ocean’s 8 isn’t braving the sexist internet commenters; it was paying homage to Ocean’s Twelve (AKA, my favourite of the Ocean’s films, don’t @ me).

Like 2016’s Ghostbusters before it, Ocean’s 8 will inevitably become central to a culture war for its largely female cast (though, James Corden gets a nice set of scenes as an insurance investigator at the end). The picture itself is barely remarkable, and as fleet and forgettable as its characters would want to seem in the middle of a daylight robbery. But there is real pleasure to derive from the (incredibly) rare sight of eight female actors delighting in one another’s company and having a great time getting up to absolutely no good. As Debbie says to motivate the gang, they’re doing this for all the eight-year-old girls dreaming of one day becoming criminals themselves. And who can’t get on board with a motive like that?

3/5

In Australian cinemas 7 June. Rated M for coarse language.