Movie Review: "Fantastic Beasts: The Crimes of Grindelwald" Is the No-Maj of Sequels

Welp, we hope you prefer endless talk about parentage rather than actual Fantastic Beasts.

2016’s Harry Potter prequel Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them was meant to motivate fan investment in four (four!) feature follow-ups. And it was so fun, it did.

But already, in second entry Fantastic Beasts: The Crimes of Grindelwald, you can see the gears spinning, merely to pass the time. Though pretty and occasionally very sweet, it's barely a sequel. It’s more like seafood extender.

Crimes takes place in 1927, with the action moving from New York to Paris, where fascistic wizards are beginning to consolidate their power and influence, under the direction of recently escaped pro-maj Grindelwald (Johnny Depp). Newt Scamander—the kindly, accidental-troublemaking fantastic beast wrangler—is called by the Ministry of Magic to locate Credence (Ezra Miller), a powerful orphan sought by Grindelwald for nefarious purposes. Newt passes. Then, young Dumbledore (Jude Law), his headmaster from back at Hogwarts, asks him nicely. You try saying no to that face.

Anyway, much of that will be baffling to those unfamiliar with the Wizard World of author J.K. Rowling (who penned the Harry Potter novels as well as the 'textbook' Fantastic Beasts, and is now writing the original screenplays for this new series). Indeed, The Crimes of Grindelwald digs deep into her universe’s history and the ancestry of certain characters (no spoilers, we promise), which adds some texture for long-time fans, yet will mean nothing to newbies.

Anyone going in expecting fantastic beasts, like from the title, will only see a few. The title promises plenty of Grindelwald too, and, also disappointingly, that particular bargain is fulfilled. The trouble began at the end of the previous instalment, when Colin Farrell’s 'auror' (AKA magic cop) was revealed to be Johnny Depp's Grindelwald in disguise. It was the funniest, stupidest self-own in cinematic recasting history. They traded Colin Farrell… for Johnny Depp? That’s like Golden State trading Steph Curry for… Johnny Depp. Nobody wants to see Depp right now; especially not as a white-blonde, speechifying nationalist. Having him play a baddie doesn’t justify his jarring presence. (Bad month for the bleached community in general, BTW.)

The good news: director David Yates—on his sixth Potter-adjacent film—still knows how to inspire visual wonder, and the special effects wizards responsible for the fantastic beasts are doing tip-top work. (That adorable platypus-y thing is back, and a giant dragon who’s hilariously hypnotised by a puppet on a stick is also introduced.) The rest of the human performers are game, except they’re splintered into new, not-advisable combinations. Most baffling is the extended absence of Katherine Waterston’s American auror Tina Goldstein, who at least gets to shine late in the runtime, on the receiving end of a speech about salamanders. (There’s that magic we wanted.)

Eddie Redmayne remains the fidgety, scabby-lipped kid next door, which is endearing here, compared with most of his other screen appearances. And newcomers Law and Zoë Kravitz (as 'Leta Lestrange') are fine additions who almost cancel out the silver-shocked pop-ins by Depp. Law, in particular, is quite effective, giving new life to an iconic character who must also convey a deeper relationship with Grindelwald than is allowed to be said explicitly. He’s also accompanied by John Williams’ old, entrancing musical theme, which is a gimmie that I fell for, easily.

Ultimately, it’s Rowling—the author gifted with a seemingly boundless imagination—who leads Fantastic Beasts astray. I’m worried that, with these sequels, she’s plotting out end points—destinations for our characters—with little thought for the reasoning that gets them there. That’s because there is so little story within The Crimes of Grindelwald, and certainly no reason for its 134-minute length. Not even the real-world resonance of a rising fascist sect gives it urgency.

There’s still plenty to like, and the stakes for Part Three are tantalising. I only wish it didn’t stab itself in the eye with a wand at every turn, beginning with the stupefying Farrell-for-Depp swap. No I will not get over it.

3/5

In Australian cinemas 15 November. Rated M for fantasy themes and violence.

Header Image: Warner Bros. Pictures