Five Ways to Improve Your Emotional Intelligence

For school, uni and the workplace.

Do you know someone in your life that not only is a good listener but also seems to know exactly what to say and how to say it? That’s because they have a skill called emotional intelligence.

Emotional intelligence is the ability to recognise, manage and express our emotions effectively and realise how they may affect the people around us. It also involves being able to read other people’s emotions, empathise with them and respond appropriately.

This skill is super handy to have and can be used at school, uni and your workplace. So, to help you out, here are five ways to improve your emotional intelligence.

1. Speak less and listen more.

You’ve got two ears and one mouth, so it’s good practice to listen twice as much as you speak.

Emotionally intelligent people are active listeners, meaning they make sure they understand what is being said before they respond.

This doesn't just include listening to what the other person is saying, but also observing the non-verbal cues of the person and seeing if their body language is telling you something you need to be aware of.

A bonus of listening more and talking less is that it gives greater weight to the words you say. Try it, you’ll be amazed at the results.

2. Respond instead of reacting.

When you’re experiencing verbal conflict or even just a robust conversation, it’s easy to let anger get a hold of you. Someone who is emotionally intelligent knows how to remain calm in these situations.

A good rule of thumb is to be quick to listen, slow to speak and rarely get angry. Don’t allow yourself to impulsively speak or make rash decisions.

To get better at this, take your time before you respond in a tense conversation and if need be, say, “I need to think about that before responding,” and get back to them later.

3. Take responsibility for your actions.

Humility is a quality not many people think about, but it’s so important on your journey to becoming emotionally intelligent.

If you hurt someone’s feelings, apologise for your actions instead of pretending it never happened. On top of that, if you made a mistake at uni or work, take responsibility for it.

Taking responsibility for what you say and do—even if it wasn’t intentional—shows others that you have strong integrity and will be accountable for your actions.

4. Practice self-awareness.

Emotionally intelligent people regularly reflect on their actions. It might sound like a hard one to do but it’s actually very easy.

Take a recent situation you were involved in and ask yourself, “how did what I say make other people feel?” Were you aware of your own emotions in that situation? Were others picking up on your body language?

Just a little self-reflection can go a long way in improving your emotional intelligence.

5. Be approachable and sociable

Finally, emotionally intelligent people are friendly and approachable.

All that is required to achieve this is to be friendly, smile and have a positive attitude. This draws people closer to you, makes you a trusted friend at school or work, and makes you stand out in the workplace and social settings.

Don't get this confused with being crazy positive all the time like Chris Traeger from Parks and Rec though. That's not healthy for anyone. Just be open and approachable.

We know there is a lot to try here, so we suggest just practising one per week. Once you start, you’ll begin to notice the changes that emotional intelligence can have in every part of your life.

If you’re wanting to dive deeper into emotional intelligence, check out our Emotional Intelligence Explained course with Student Edge Plus.

Header Image: @alexisrbrown via Unsplash