What Should I Even Watch This Boxing Day?

It’s the biggest movie-watching day in Australia.

Wondering how in the world you’re going to get through this holiday period? Want to find a safe escape from all the family drama? Need something to cut through the awkward silences?

Go to the movies, obvs.

On December 26, film fans will be flooded with options; from fam-friendly flicks to more adult, arthouse fare. But what’s right for you? Great question. Thankfully, we’ve seen most of the big releases. Let’s help you out!

Where can I see Emma Stone and Ryan Gosling making googly eyes at one another?

Crazy, Stupid, Love. Or Gangster Squad. However, if you also insist that the movie be good, then you’ll probably want to check out La La Land, the all-singing, all-dancing romance from Whiplash director Damian Chazelle. It’s about to sweep the Golden Globes and will no doubt be drowned in Oscar nominations, so seek it out while it’s still cool. Read the full review.

Make me laugh—but not too much!

Bryan Cranston and James Franco turn the premise of Meet the Parents upside down in Why Him?, which is out on Boxing Day. Meanwhile, Jason Bateman, Jennifer Aniston, Olivia Munn, T.J. Miller and approximately 80 other familiar faces get up to no-good in the very imaginatively titled Office Christmas Party, already showing. Both movies could be so much better. Alas, you’ll take ‘em and you’ll abide ‘em! Read the Why Him? review. Now, read the Office Christmas Party review.

I am a person of refined tastes. What’s on at the arthouse?

Fancy! Can we interest sir or madam in Jim Jarmusch’s Paterson, starring Adam Driver as a bus-driving poet in New Jersey? No, seriously, it’s great! Read the full review. Otherwise, you can watch Rosamund Pike/David Oyelowo romance A United Kingdom, French comedy Rosalie Blum or music docos Gimme Danger or Janis: Little Girl Blue.

Show me a film set in Casablanca that isn’t Casablanca.

I’m assuming you’ve already seen Mission: Impossible – Ghost Protocol? In that case, Brad Pitt and Marion Cotillard’s spy thriller Allied should do the trick. No doubt many will watch it looking for evidence of Pitt’s dissolving marriage; you’re better off spending the two hours soaking in the sumptuous scenery and outfits. Read the full review.

I just want to watch a movie about a dog.

We’ve got a Red Dog prequel for that. True Blue, set a few years before the 2011 Aussie blockbuster, doesn’t offer much in the way of surprises, though if you’re after a movie about a dog, this is your best bet. Read the full review. (Oh, we even interviewed the dog!)

Anything else for the kiddies?

If you want something animated, there’s Disney’s Moana or Illumination Entertainment’s Sing (they’re the company behind Minions). We’ve only reviewed the latter—but we’re going out on a limb to assume that Moana is the more reliable choice. Read the Sing review.

Can I just see Rogue One: A Star Wars Story again?

You are your own person, and you have agency in this world. Of course you can. Read the full review.

Hmm, none of these take my fancy. I’ll just wait for the New Year’s Day releases.

Umm… okay. Just be warned: that leaves you with Jennifer Lawrence and Chris Pratt’s actually-quite-upsetting Passengers and Michael Fassbender’s utterly baffling Assassin’s Creed, so, good luck with all that. Read the Passengers review. Now, read the Assassin’s Creed review.

Maybe I’ll stay home.

May we offer you 30+ options from our Best of 2016 list?

That’s all from us. You’re on a journey now, and we wish you luck.

The Force is with you.

Photo: Summit