Shock, Horror! Someone Just Realised We've Actually Never Heard the Real "Monster Mash"

Does this change everything?

A Twitter user has shooketh everyone to near death with the claim that we've never actually head the real 'Monster Mash; rather, we've just heard Bobby Pickett's first-hand account of seeing 'the mash'. We're all just secondary witnesses.

So, let's have a look at this claim.

The song opens with this scene-setting verse:

I was working in the lab, late one night
When my eyes beheld an eerie sight
For my monster from his slab, began to rise
And suddenly to my surprise

This verse does seem to suggest that the song itself may not actually be the famed "Monster Mash" we think we all know.

But later on, in the final chorus, the line changes to:

Then you can mash, then you can monster mash
The monster mash and do my graveyard smash

Which begs the question: Have we been monster mashing the whole time? Or is it all a big lie? Could this be humanity's greatest mystery?

Thankfully, some Twitter users rationalised this dilemma and calmed our existential crisis.

Incorrect: it's both the dance and the song, as detailed by the line "He did the Mash, they played the Monster Mash."
— Nick C. is a Dracula (@nickchester) October 8, 2017

Similar questions may be asked of Tenacious D's hit "Tribute" which alleged that they had heard the best song in the world, but the only evidence of this is the tribute song itself. It's just so meta.

Regardless of the reality, "Monster Mash" is still the best Halloween jam besides "Thriller". Get re-acquainted with the lyrics before your Halloween fiesta ASAP.