Science Says There Are Actually Four Different Types Of Giraffe; Let’s Invent Four More!

If you're anything like me, you've been pretty excited about the state of giraffes recently.

Also, you probably have Google alerts set for whenever words like 'giraffe' become popular, which is how I found out that a recent study reveals there are actually four distinct species of giraffes, not just the single one we previously assumed.

This is both really cool (because ‘more types of giraffe’ is always going to be a good thing) and a little bit scary. See, these newly discovered species of giraffes don't interbreed, and we're already running pretty low when it comes to supplies of our long-necked friends.

Giraffes are omnipresent in films and media about Africa. Everyone (besides lions, apparently) thinks they're pretty neat. They're funnier than rhinos, better at eating and generally living in the wild than pandas, and cuter than the endangered purple pig-nosed frog. We'd be lost without them, but when's the last time you worried about giraffes being endangered? Because now they are. Really endangered.

There are fewer than 100,000 giraffes left; a figure that doesn't quite put giraffes on the endangered list (though they have declined by about 50,000 in the last few decades). What does, however, is the fact that one of the four sub-species numbers just 4,750 members. Shrinking natural habitats and poaching have not been kind to the giraffe. There are more unemployed journalists than there are northern giraffes, as a matter of fact.

This iconic seven-plus million-year-old species will be one we miss. I don't want my kids to look at the Lion King opening and realise they can never see one of these majestically goofy animals in real life. We should be doing all we can to keep them safe. (This is me gently nudging you to go donate to a giraffe charity, by the way.)

Still, this discovery is exciting. The new species include the southern giraffe (giraffa giraffa), the Masai giraffe (giraffa tippelskirchi), the reticulated giraffe (giraffa reticulata) and the northern giraffe (giraffa camelopardalis); each is visually distinct and show potential to revitalise public interest in a precious and valuable animal.

I'm not sure it's enough, though. To that end, I propose four new species of giraffe that are probably* out there, waiting to be brought to the attention of the public. (Questionable Photoshopping by the author.)

*Definitely not.

1. The Periscope Giraffe (giraffa spectare)

We've all made at least one absent-minded giraffe doodle where the eyes somehow ended up on top of the head, perched on those little nubs. Turns out, that wasn't a mistake; you were just drawing a new (and totally “real”) species of giraffe.

2. The Shortneck Giraffe (giraffa truncatus)

Let's be honest: giraffes have way too much neck. These little guys? We just didn't see them because the other giraffes were so huge in comparison, but they're out there and they have a very sensible amount of neck.

3. The Magma Giraffe (giraffa torrens-igneus)

The reticulated giraffe has a captivating pattern that has always reminded me of cracked magma. Nature apparently took the theme and ran with it, somehow creating a giraffe with the perfect defence mechanism: being made of lava.

4. The Girug (giraffa panpulmonata)

Yes, a giraffe with slug eyes. Yes, this might have been a miscalculation.

NB: This article uses the word 'giraffe' twenty-seven times. Well, twenty-eight, now.

Anthony Pearce is one of Student Edge’s student contributors. Learn more about the contributor program.

Photo: iStock.