Sausages, Ham and Jerky Could Cause Cancer, Says Delicious, Terrifying WHO Report

We trusted you, sausages!

The International Agency for Research on Cancer (IARC) has released a damning report (for carnivores, at least) that suggests eating sausages, ham and other processed meats (like beef jerky) can cause colon cancer.

In case you thought the report was simply a piece of propaganda funded by the Big Vegetable lobby: the IARC is an arm of the World Health Organisation and their report comes after the analysis of 800 studies from around the globe. So, yeah.

Their recommendation, as reported by ABC News: “limit [your] intake of meat.”

Statistically, they concede, the likelihood of someone getting cancer from eating processed meats is “small”, though it increases with every bit of processed meat one consumes.

There was not sufficient evidence to conclude the consumption of unprocessed red meat – including beef, lamb, veal, pork and friends – also led to the development of cancer, but it was classified a “probable” carcinogen.

Approximately 34,000 cancer deaths each year are linked to diets with a high instance of processed meats.

The ABC spoke to Dr. Christina Pollard of Curtin University’s School of Public Health in Western Australia, who tried to temper the panic.

"We've known for quite a long time that we need to limit high processed food consumption and to only have a moderate amount of lean meat," she said.

"It doesn't mean that eating meat is the same as smoking cigarettes," she added. More than one million cancer deaths per year are attributed to smoking.

Still, maybe you should re-consider that eighth stick of biltong.