How To Lose Well

Losing and failure is a part of life.

You basically get told that by everyone nowadays, and though it sounds fair enough, it just doesn't prepare you for the reality of when it actually happens; when you've had your hopes raised - only to be shot down - or when everyone around seems to have one and you're left behind in the dust. That has happened to me recently.

I’m in Year 12 at high school and, for the first time, I felt like I was losing the race. I put my hand up for prefect and school captain, but I didn’t get anything (while my close friend got school captain and other close friends became prefects).

Where I once was among the top of the class in science and maths, I was now toward the bottom. And one of my best friends moved overseas, after struggling with mental health issues. I felt I had let them down; that I wasn’t able to help them when they really needed it.

It really wasn’t the best time for me to suddenly be so disappointed in myself, with school coming to a close and the dreaded exams drawing near. I felt like all the effort I had put in for the past 12 years might be wasted; that I was really ‘losing’ after all.

You hear the ‘marathon’ analogy a lot in high school - “it’s not a sprint, it’s a marathon” - and I felt like it was the final lap, the last leg, and I was falling behind. Let me be clear though: this isn’t a pity party.

I know for a fact there are people that have been struggling far more than me with far more difficult problems. But that’s exactly the point, because a major coping strategy for me has been to keep things in perspective.

I’ve found a lot of solace and purpose in community work recently and the act of positively contributing to society showed me that there’s far more to life than getting a good ATAR. The support I’ve gotten from close friends and family has also meant a lot to me, because it is reassuring that I’m not letting them down, even if I feel that I'm falling behind.

It’s also important to know there really isn’t such a thing as ‘losing’ in life. There will always be more opportunities to succeed, and you can often have a second chance to work harder and achieve what you couldn’t on the first try. Life isn’t a competition, it’s an experience that you need to make the most of when you can.

Next year I’m going to work on my weak spots now that I know they’re there. I’m going to participate in student leadership and go to workshops, and I’m going to further my science and maths. That's how you lose well.

Congratulations to Vivienne for winning this writing challenge, answering: Should I Update My Phone? Vivienne wins a $50 Westfield gift card for her submission. For your chance to win, check out our latest writing challenges in our Comps section. Also, be sure to follow this guide on how to win the writing challenge!

Photo: Channel 4.