How To Help A Mate When You Spot Signs Of Depression

Confused about how to help a friend who has gone mostly quiet?

Trigger warning. This article discusses mental health and depression.

It’s quite common to be unsure how and when to step in and help, or even if you should.

But if your gut instinct tells you that something is wrong, then go for it. Reach out for the person you think needs a little bit of a hand in life.

At this point you must be questioning yourself: "Hmmm, but how? In what way should I help by not disturbing the person further?" Well, read on. This article will give you tips to help solve your problems, and hopefully your mate's too!

Keep an eye out for whenever they have mood swings, cry, get angry and irritated, feel guilty or ashamed, and so on. When you notice such behaviour changes, try talking to them. If they reply steadily, then that's a good start. However if they don't wish to talk, don't force them. Forcing words out won't work. Just make sure you check in with them and give them an opportunity to share their feelings with you.

Find a good time to talk, perhaps by changing the environment the person usually stays in. Why not go for a walk, or take your mate to the park. The fresh air will release stress, and the change of setting may help them to open up. Of course, don't force them to go anywhere, even for a walk. Simply ask, very, very sweetly.

Once you're in a different environment, just talk about the most normal and basic things you and your mate usually would. Try to make them laugh; make jokes and so on. Through your conversation, try to ask them what has upset them. Of course, don't start asking these serious questions in the middle of your happy conversation – or, if they’re not comfortable, in an openly-public place. This will not work by just doing it for one day either. Comfort them and go to new places every day (or every other day). Your first goal is to make them happy (but don’t be disheartened if you don’t feel successful). Hopefully, they’ll at least feel comfortable enough in your presence to open up.

If you feel your mate is only happy in your presence, and mostly depressed in your absence, then encourage them to seek help. Tell them that seeking help doesn't necessarily mean going to a doctor or psychologist in the first instance. Seeking help means sharing the problem with someone you trust – that may mean someone other than yourself. Encourage them to do that. However, if they do open up to you and you feel the problems are bigger than you can help solve, also encourage them to seek professional help too.

During this process, you should remember to not increase your stress or anxiety levels. Just be there for your friend.

If you or anyone you know needs help, support is available right now. Call Lifeline on 131 114 or Kids Helpline on 1800 551 800.

For more information on counselling and treatment plans you can contact your school’s health services as well as the following organisations:

Beyond Blue

Headspace

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