Ariana Grande Is Sorry She Licked That Donut, Said She Hated America

This truly is her best mistake.

When Ariana Grande (very soundly) insisted the media shouldn’t write about her as a man’s “present or future PROPERTY / POSSESSION,” she probably didn’t foresee them turning their attention to her reputation as a donut-licking America-hater.

Bastion of journalistic integrity TMZ yesterday released video of Grande and some friends causing trouble at a Wolfee Donuts store in California.

The security camera footage shows Grande sniffing and then licking some of the donuts on display.

Grande capped off her July 4th visit to Wolfee Donuts by crying out, “I hate Americans. I hate America!”

It's at this point we should note that Grande is 22 years old and Independence Day, if nothing else, entitles American citizens to express their free thought. (Still, even as a fan of her music, I'm finding it hard to forgive her donut-licking faux pas. Purchasing a pre-licked pastry is basically my nightmare, regardless the fame level of the lick-er.)

Knowing that she had some ‘splainin’ to do, Grande released the following statement to US Weekly.

“I am EXTREMELY proud to be an American and I’ve always made it clear that I love my country,” she began

“As an advocate for healthy eating, food is very important to me and I sometimes get upset by how freely we as Americans eat and consume things without giving any thought to the consequences that it has on our health and society as a whole.

“The fact that the United States has one of the highest child obesity rate in the world frustrates me.

“We need to do more to educate ourselves and our children about the dangers of overeating and the poison that we put into our bodies.”

She wrapped up contritely. "Let me once again apologize if I have offended anyone with my poor choice of words."

You can read the rest here.

Now that donutgate is over, I’d like to encourage the media to instead refocus their efforts on asking Ariana about that time she fought off demons in Kansas City.

I really can’t stress how much I need further explanation of this.