This Cover Of “Trap Queen” By A 10-Year-Old Will Haunt You Forever

“Ya boy, G-Money.”

The ascent of one-eyed hip hop sensation Fetty Wap has been one of 2015’s best music industry stories.

Today, I am saddened to have to bring you one of the year’s worst.

The internet has discovered a big band cover version of Fetty’s Taylor Swift-approved smash “Trap Queen”, performed by 10-year-old child actor George Dalton.

Though originally posted in July, the video has gone viral after capturing the attention of comedian Desus Nice.

fetty aint lose an eye for this pic.twitter.com/ul8DKjAcdD

— Desus Nice (@desusnice) September 15, 2015

Before watching, we were inclined to defend Dalton, who is, as stated, a child, as well as a co-star in the very good Netflix series Wet Hot American Summer: First Day of Camp. Surely he doesn’t deserve the ire of the entire internet?

Then we watched the whole thing.

If you were wondering whether or not Dalton and his perky pre-pubescent dancers were able to convey the sensation of finding love within the dangerous, no-escape realm of the drug trade that is ‘the trap’, let us assure you that they do not.

In this version, they really are cooking pies - like, for eating - and he no longer finds the object of his affection at the “strip club,” but rather, the “strip mall.” (Also, she doesn’t work the “damn pole” any longer. Now, it’s the “hot stove.”)

At the end of the tune, George caps off his cover with a rap.

Enjoy?