The ACT Government Is Keeping Count Of Its Toilet Paper, Fearing TP Thieves

It’s just like Ocean’s Eleven, except its toilet paper instead of money and the ACT instead of Las Vegas.

According to ABC News, the ACT Government must endure the indignity of counting exactly how much toilet paper is being used by staff, and in public restrooms, following suggestions of widespread theft.

We assume they’re counting rolls and not sheets.

This bizarre nugget was dropped during a budget estimates hearing on Monday, after a member of the committee revealed they recently conducted an audit on toilet paper stock, wondering if millions of dollars’ worth of small assets (not just toilet paper, but computers, phones and stationery too) was being nicked by public servants.

Here’s Director of City Services Fleur Flanery’s thinking:

"Quite recently I was quite concerned that toilet paper was going missing and so we do regularly audit down to how much is bought, how much is consumed both in public toilets and also all the depots.”

Ew. Consumed.

No proof of theft was established, despite Liberal MLA Alistair Coe previously saying that the Territory and Municipal Services directorate is nicknamed “’Bunnings’ because stuff goes missing’”.

Still, Flanery has her eye on you, TP thieves.

"There has been an internal audit into small and attractive items. It is something that has been a matter of long-standing concern when you're managing lots of items.”

Lol. Internal audit.

Photo: NBC.