Movie Review: "Guns Akimbo" Is Shooting Blanks

It could’ve been the most cutting edge film of 2005 though.

It takes a flick like Guns Akimbo to make you stop and appreciate the craftsmanship and nuance of a motion picture like Crank.

This marks the second feature from New Zealand-based writer, director and visual effects artist Jason Lei Howden. (His first was called Deathgasm, and, impressively, his titles are only getting worse.) It stars Daniel Radcliffe as Miles, a well-intentioned troller of internet trolls who winds up needling the wrong weirdos. He sets his sights on the team behind Skizm, a live action game in which people fight to the death for an online audience. After enduring a night of mockery from Miles, the makers of Skizm break into his house, bolt guns to each of his hands, and set him up as the next contestant. Suddenly, this week-willed normie is battling the murderous Nix (Samara Weaving) for survival.

So commences 95 minutes of frenzied activity and bro-friendly humour seemingly torn straight out of the good yet undeniably 15-year-old Crank series. Here are some more things Guns Akimbo seems to be influenced by: Nerve, Gamer, Wanted, Stretch, John Wick, John Wick Chapter 2, John Wick Chapter 3: Parabellum, Run Lola Run, The Running Man, Scott Pilgrim vs. the World, Series 7, The Truman Show, The Boondock Saints and the meme that goes "*record scratch* *freeze frame* yep, that’s me, you’re probably wondering how I ended up in this situation". It is not better than any of them. No, not even The Boondock Saints. (Okay, maybe it's better than The Boondock Saints.)

The irony of Guns Akimbo is that its own central gimmick—a guy who can never let go of guns—basically becomes visually meaningless after about 15 minutes. As Miles eventually drops his beta-male persona and becomes a sharpshooting killing machine, there’s really nothing interesting or amusing about the fact he can’t throw away his weapons. Like, what else would he do with them? Once he finally figures out how to put on his pants with two pistols, this not-so-rich comedy mine is basically plundered.

Howden pulls off a lot on what I’m assuming was a shoestring budget (if it wasn’t, then I rescind my backhanded compliment). There are some sprightly shoot-outs, and both Radcliffe and Weaving, the latter of whom brought a refreshing ferocity to Ready or Not, are clearly game participants. However, this whole 'let’s make something that almost looks like Grand Theft Auto (but really Duke Nukem) and confront the audience for their complicity' shtick feels incredibly aged, and certainly hollow. I wrote in my review of the similar, superior Nerve that it was "a movie of the moment", and that moment was, very specifically "July to September of 2016". Four years later, Guns Akimbo is acting like it’s the newest console on the block, when it’s very much a Sega Saturn.

2/5

Guns Akimbo has select screenings across Australia from 28 February 2020. Rating CTC.