How I Overcame Bullying

Overcoming bullying is not an easy feat by any means, and I think even the term ‘bullying’ itself is often misplaced or misunderstood.

Certainly we would like to think bullying will cease, but from what we know of our past, present and future, this will take a rather long time to achieve.

Overcoming bullying for me was not about stopping the bullying, though many would aspire to have their bullies cease the taunts. Overcoming bullying for me was a path that came with time and maturity, which is unfortunate for my younger self. I came to the realisation that though one may move away from a bully, or the bully may grow bored and find a new subject, there was always a new bully willing and ready to fill their place; to even compete for the title.

I understood that this would be a lifelong process; one which could not be run from, and not always fought. However, it was one I did not have to pay much attention to either. I now understand bullies to often be lacking something in their life; possibly a parent’s love, or perhaps they have themselves been a victim and wish to inflict harm upon another to justify their feelings.

Bullies may also just be sour in nature. With this understanding, I now pay less attention to the bullies. Verbally, I ignore them. On social media, I don't put comments out there which will make others 'bite' and I choose my friends wisely. Physically, I entrust the law to stand behind me, though I realise I have been much luckier than many out there in this respect.

Overcoming bullies was not the result of running away or the bully growing bored with me, for these are temporary solutions. Overcoming bullies, for me, was the result of taking the time to understand my attacker and knowing which of my reactions would only further cement their actions.

My energy was better spent brushing it off and focusing more on the positives in life. Overthinking and replaying such scenarios can be exhausting, and may do more damage than good. I found it was better to focus on what was good in life and giggle at the thought of the frustrated looks on their faces when they were unable to provoke a reaction, and how frivolous their life must be if I’m the focus of their attention.

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