Donald Trump Is Not Allowed To Tweet Unsupervised Anymore

But sure, give him the nuke codes.

If you were wondering why Twitter suddenly had 0.0003 per cent less racist invective and mad conspiracy theorising, a New York Times investigation into Donald Trump’s final days as presidential candidate provides an explanation.

According to the Times, the Republican's team has “wrested away the Twitter account” that he has used to insult approximately 282 people, places and things over the years.

Of course, there was a time when his barbs were mostly harmless.

Everyone knows I am right that Robert Pattinson should dump Kristen Stewart. In a couple of years, he will thank me. Be smart, Robert.

— Donald J. Trump (@realDonaldTrump) October 22, 2012

Don’t like @SamuelLJackson’s golf swing. Not athletic. I’ve won many club championships. Play him for charity!

— Donald J. Trump (@realDonaldTrump) January 6, 2016

.@katyperry is no bargain but I don't like John Mayer--he dates and tells--be careful Katy (just watch!).

— Donald J. Trump (@realDonaldTrump) October 19, 2012

Now, a hair’s breadth away from the highest office in America, not so much.

Here are some of his best worst hits.

26,000 unreported sexual assults in the military-only 238 convictions. What did these geniuses expect when they put men & women together?

— Donald J. Trump (@realDonaldTrump) May 7, 2013

The concept of global warming was created by and for the Chinese in order to make U.S. manufacturing non-competitive.

— Donald J. Trump (@realDonaldTrump) November 6, 2012

An 'extremely credible source' has called my office and told me that @BarackObama's birth certificate is a fraud.

— Donald J. Trump (@realDonaldTrump) August 6, 2012

Appreciate the congrats for being right on radical Islamic terrorism, I don't want congrats, I want toughness & vigilance. We must be smart!

— Donald J. Trump (@realDonaldTrump) June 12, 2016

It’s a smart move by Team Trump. Shortly after the first presidential debate, Donald took the bait of Democratic rival Hillary Clinton and engaged in a days-long Twitter war with former Miss Universe Alicia Machado – during which time his popularity plummeted.

Did Crooked Hillary help disgusting (check out sex tape and past) Alicia M become a U.S. citizen so she could use her in the debate?

— Donald J. Trump (@realDonaldTrump) September 30, 2016

With Trump having now mostly closed that gap, his advisors are not letting a Tweet go past them without prior approval.

Here’s the anecdote from the Times:

“On Thursday, as his plane idled on the tarmac in Miami, Mr. Trump spotted Air Force One outside his window. As he glowered at the larger plane, he told Ms. Hicks, his spokeswoman, to jot down a proposed tweet about President Obama, who was campaigning nearby for Mrs. Clinton. ‘Why is he campaigning instead of creating jobs and fixing Obamacare?’ Mr. Trump said. “Get back to work.” After some light editing — Ms. Hicks added ‘for the American people’ at the end — she published it.”

Normally parents just remove the SIM card and turn the phone to airplane mode before handing it over to their baby, but this works too.

Sources close to the campaign insist Trump’s newly-guarded Twitter persona is not reflective of any kind of personality shift.

“[O]ffline, Mr. Trump still privately muses about all of the ways he will punish his enemies after Election Day, including a threat to fund a ‘super PAC’ with vengeance as its core mission.”

The election comes to its thrilling conclusion on Tuesday, November 8 (Wednesday for Australians). Even though that’s just 48 hours away, its end truly can’t come soon enough.

Photo: iStock.