The 7 Worst Things You Could Possibly Do In A Job Interview

If you're planning on pulling these stunts at your next job interview... maybe don't.

For those who’ve never endured a job interview before, the prospect of being interrogated by a stranger – or multiple strangers - can be an intimidating one. Rest easy. It only takes a couple of goes to recognise the patterns of this dance and to hone your responses to their increasingly familiar questions in a manner that is illustrative of who you are and what you can offer. But this is not a list of what you should do during a job interview. Oh no. Rather, this is a warning; a giant, flashing neon warning like the kind you might find on the side of a freeway begging you to pay attention before everything goes horribly wrong.

Each of us have certain perfectly excusable – even adorable! – character quirks that, in the context of a job interview, suddenly become the most horrendous transgressions any human could commit in polite company. This article simply wants to flag some of those foibles before you unleash them on an unsuspecting interviewer. Some examples may seem obvious; if they do, you’re already on the right track to a successful placement. Some, however, may never have occurred to you of being offensive or careless. That’s fine too. Better to know these things now than after fourteen failed, very awkward meetings.

So please, take this list of the seven worst things you could possibly do in a job interview (excluding, obviously, anything truly bizarre or illegal) under advisement and keep it in your back pocket, just in case any old habits threaten to rear their inappropriate heads again.

7. Dressing to unimpress.

Unless you’re planning on wearing a tuxedo like Dale and Brennan from Step Brothers, or donning the billowing regalia and vestments of a 17th century monarch, you pretty much can’t overdress for a job interview. (This is also true if you’re meeting for a role that will eventually require a food-stained uniform.) Basically, you’ll want to use common sense for this one. Don’t go casual. Think: “What would I wear to a friend’s wedding? Or, my grandmother’s birthday dinner?” If your planned outfit would cause her to faint from being scandalised, head back to the wardrobe.

6. Winging it.

“Winging it” is a great strategy for being a bird, but not so much when it comes to job interviews. It doesn’t matter if you’re interviewing at a world famous company you believe you know everything about; spend some time beforehand looking up any relevant, current information that might be available. Have they been featured in the news recently? Any controversies you should side-step? Any successes you should congratulate them on? Oh, and make sure you double check who it is exactly you’ll be speaking with before the interview takes place. Their name is probably right there in the email address.

5. Pretending you can do it all.

It’s a totally reasonable sensation to want to impress your prospective employer by listing all your amazing skills and talents, like complete Microsoft Office proficiency, circus-level juggling expertise and fluent comprehension of Mandarin (even if you don’t actually know how to do any of that stuff). However, if you’re hired and then swiftly asked to make a PowerPoint presentation of pictures from your most recent juggle-off for the big China account...

... you’ll find yourself in way hotter water than if you had just been upfront and initially stressed to them your eagerness and ability to learn new things.

4. Playing with your phone.

Check your alarm is off. Turn the ringer to silent. In fact, go ahead and turn on Airplane Mode. Definitely don’t keep checking for any QuizUp challenges. Keeping the interviewer waiting because you’re Shazaming music in the waiting room or finishing a Candy Crush level is a serious red flag for a prospective employer, as is interrupting them to Google the name of Chandler’s annoying girlfriend from Friends just because “it’s on the tip of your tongue.” (It’s Janice, btw.)

3. Eating.

What? Why would you do this? Unless you’re applying for the role of hotdog-eating champion Takeru Kobayashi’s personal assistant, bringing food into an interview is madness. (And even in that example, Kobayashi would probably hate it if his P.A. was eating all the time. Your job is to feed him, not yourself!)

2. “Any questions?” (*Shrug*)

You surely don’t need to be told that you’ll be expected to actually talk in a job interview.

That said, not everyone realises the extent to which they’ll need to answer questions. Sure, it’s plenty handy preparing for left-of-center questions like, “What kind of tree would you be?” However, it’s much more helpful to seek out the most common interview questions and having examples to follow up with. It doesn’t matter if you’ve never been employed anywhere else before; you should be able to find anecdotes about your greatest successes and most valuable lessons from your day-to-day life. Don’t forget to have a few questions for the interviewer ready too. Just nothing too personal. Which brings us to the next point.

1. Swearing a bunch.

Don’t trash talk previous employers or teachers and definitely don’t swear while you’re doing it. You may have the most inventive, revolutionary, groundbreaking collection of curses in the history of the English language. We promise you, the interviewer won’t be into it. And if they are, well, you should probably be very wary of that workplace.